I am thrilled that you asked me to marry you and that you think highly enough of me to decide to spend your life with me. It is a journey that I am incredibly excited to begin! But first, I think we need to establish a few rules.
When we marry, I will stay home and take care of things. That is, only if I get pregnant. I will make a deal with you. Since staying home means that I give you my full identity and have no value or worth, and have no life at all, no salary, benefits, or vacation time, and will be viewed by society as being repressed, uneducated, and without any skills or contributions to society, I intend to assume this role only for as long as necessary, or while the children are small. It is unfortunate that nature has chosen me to carry and deliver a child, but I intend to make the most of it and play nature’s game for a while. Eventually, science will prevail!
I hereby commit that I will do my best to contribute to the household, but you must know who actually runs the home. That would be me. Nevertheless, I will: Dust, sweep, vacuum, clean, mop, polish and decorate our home to make it warm and cozy. I will call servicemen about maintenance and repairs, make necessary appointments, ensure that appliances and vehicles are maintained, and that our pets are treated with care, are fed well, and see the veterinarian when necessary. I will keep the vehicle(s) clean and properly serviced. I will keep a clean kitchen, load and unload the dishwasher, keep the fridge and pantry stocked and organized, plan and prepare meals, and do all of the grocery shopping. I will maintain the garden and collect and preserve what it yields. I will assume the role of events director and exquisite hostess while providing entertainment when applicable. I will do all of the laundry, and the ironing and the folding, as well as running to drop off and collect all of your business attire with the local dry cleaner. I will clean bathrooms, I will wash windows, and I even will tend to the lawn if you have no time to do so. I will budget our finances and see to it that bills are paid in a timely manner. I will be the primary caregiver with our children and see to it that they are well-clothed, well-fed, well-groomed, well-mannered, and homeschooled or delivered to and from school every day. I will pack lunches, I will attend ballgames, plays, and any other extracurricular events and be their biggest cheerleader. I will see to it that our children are present for appointments and check-ups. I will coordinate homework and ensure that the children’s rooms are tidy and that they are in bed at a decent hour. I will polish shoes, wash the drapes, pick up any discarded items. When our parents are older, I will care for them as I will our children, and see to it that they make their appointments and are properly fed and looked after. I will play doctor, dentist, and nurse. I will run all of the errands and make all of the appointments. I will make sure that I look my best and that dinner is ready when you arrive from work and that you have sufficient time to unwind alone after your overwhelming day. I will never say no to sex and I will make sure that all of your needs are met and that you are reasonably happy. Lastly, I will do it all while trying to keep a pleasant demeanor and provide 24-hour love and assistance for everyone around me.
Start date will be about three weeks before I deliver our first child, at which point I will place on hold my rewarding career. These services will end between three weeks after delivery of our first or last child, depending on how well I like staying home, and in some cases, when our children start school. At that point, I will relinquish all of the previous duties to whosoever has time and interest in doing them so that I may have a real job and pursue my own identity and value. It all depends on how well I do with this, how I can manage not having everything I want on one income, and how undervalued and worthless I feel while being of service to those I love. It is a weakness, you know! To be a weak female is the epitome of worthless scum! Scum, I say!!! But I digress.
I thank you for giving me the flexibility to choose my life, but you are the lucky one if I even choose to do this for one day and don’t ever forget that! Make no mistake: A career defines everyone and gives a person purpose. We all deserve that much. Kids are durable and extremely hard to kill. They’ll survive. Mom and Dad? Look, with two incomes, we can afford assisted living. They’ve lived a good life, and they weren’t always there for us, so screw ’em. In fact, did I tell you about the time he–never mind. I deserve to be the all-powerful woman of the household and I deserve my own identity. I can lift that sofa on my own and I can pay all the bills and rear our children without you. If you won’t get your a** off that sofa, I will find someone who will! I am the greatest, I am the leader, and you WILL submit. Should you forget that, the courts will rule in my favor. K?
Oh baby, I love you so much!! (I picked up some new lingerie today! Hint!!)
Your soon-to-be wifey
Is it any wonder why things are the way they are today? Homemaking IS a job. Children are a significant part of the natural, loving duties of a female, but even in a home where children are absent, it does not negate the need for a homemaker. In any union, there are roles that someone must assume. Today, both people are assuming all roles, or one person is assuming most roles, and both methods are failing. To work and take care of the home is to assume two full-time jobs. No one can devote 100 percent of their efforts into two equally demanding jobs. They can do it, but they will do it poorly.
Women are running around the world, attempting to obliterate the need for men in the workplace while pursuing them. They fight amongst themselves for the love of a certain man. They have forgotten that they are the prize, that their ability to usher in new generations to this world is anything but worthless, and that their love is truly priceless. It is humorous and pitiful that many women today are pursuing men and are willing to pretend to be married. They fool themselves into thinking that they are willing to negotiate what they naturally know is important. They are dying to give away their benefits for no return from the relationship. Yet feminism never mentions any of this, that women are throwing their value at men who do not value or wish to commit to them, but staying home to care for the men who do cherish and commit to them is robbing them of their value. They have forgotten their intrinsic value and have been fooled to believe that they can find it in the workplace — as though staying home will conceal it. Feminism is a cancer on society and it has nothing at all to do with egalitarianism. Feminism has served to destroy the ability for men and women to bond permanently.
Marriage is the ULTIMATE sacrifice and devotion for a woman. As listed above, she is much less expended if she remains single, as the duties of a home and family member are much easier to be neglected. Staying single, however, is much less satisfying and rewarding for her because a lady naturally wants to love and feel loved by her family, even if that includes only her husband. Women naturally are nurturers, so it is understandable that career women often are not as happily married, happily single, or even fulfilled.
Most women have traded their warm femininity and service for competitive masculinity and it is having profoundly devastating effects. All of this searching for identity and value has proven that women have forgotten that it is a worthless endeavor since women never have lost any of it. It has remained within. Women have been duped into believing that they must find their purpose outside of their instinctual desires. They have been taught that what they want matters most, and have become absolutely selfish as they have placed the needs of others on the back burner. They believe that being warm and soft is being useless and weak. They have been taught that they have to outshine men and dominate them. All they really are doing is crippling their families and destroying the foundation of future generations and all of humanity.
Homemaking needs to be appreciated for what it is: the innerworkings of all families and homes. This is true regardless of the presence of children. It is not a pseudo job that should be viewed as a temporary setback. Homemakers are anything but lazy, uneducated, and worthless individuals; their incredible contributions to society are unable to be measured and are not soon forgotten as are one’s career efforts or titles. We need a shift in our awareness and priorities.
Stay tuned for my upcoming book!
Find your center and guard it against society with everything you have,
Danica De La Mora